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FINALIST FOR THE BOOKS FOR A BETTER LIFE AWARD • NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

"Parents . . . you will be wowed and awed by [Dr. Shefali]." —Oprah Winfrey

As seen on Oprah’s SuperSoul Sunday,
 a radically transformative plan that shows parents how to raise children to be their best, truest selves, from the New York Times bestselling author of The Conscious Parent.


What if...?

What if I told you that you can put an end to all of your parenting struggles?

That you can learn to parent without fear or anxiety?

That you can end conflict with your children?

That you can create close and connected relationships within your family?

…Would you accept this invitation to a revolution in parenting? 

We all have the capacity to raise children who are highly resilient and emotionally connected. However, many of us are unable to because we are blinded by modern misconceptions of parenting and our own inner limitations. In The Awakened Family, I show you how you can cultivate a relationship with your children so they can thrive; moreover, you can be transformed to a state of greater calm, compassion and wisdom as well.

This book will take you on a journey to transcending your fears and illusions around parenting and help you become the parent you always wanted to be: fully present and conscious. It will arm you with practical, hands-on strategies and real-life examples from my experience as a parent and clinical psychologist that show the extraordinary power of being a conscious parent. 

Everyone in your family is ready to be awakened.

Will you take this journey with me?

—Shefali

Review

Praise for The Awakened Family

"Stop struggling, parents. Here is the key to relaxing into your family and into your parenting. . . . [Tsabary] has a new book releasing us all from the stresses of ''making'' the perfect child."  The Washington Post

"I want to give this book to everyone I know who is a parent, a grandparent, a child, a grown-up child . . . everyone. It''s not only a primer for the kind of family life we all long for, it''s also a guide to being human—to living with more ease, more love, more joy."  —Elizabeth Lesser, cofounder of Omega Institute and author of Broken Open and Marrow
 
"Shefali Tsabary shines the light of wisdom on the most enlightened aspect of parenting: discovering a child''s individual personhood and purpose, and nurturing the path to its fulfillment."  —Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Life Visioning

"Best-selling author and speaker Tsabary combines the spirit of Thich Nhat Hahn’s 1975 classic, Miracle of Mindfulness, with an intensive family therapy session—and the result is a transforming read for any parent."  Booklist, starred review

"Useful and encouraging . . . Tsabary’s message is an antidote to recent trends such as for ''helicopter parenting,'' teaching respect for children as people in their own right and urging parents to let them thrive."  —Publishers Weekly, starred review

"I loved The Awakened Family . . . [Tsabary] explains why we need to trust in our children''s potential and argues that the best parenting lies in being quiet and open." —Bookpage

Praise for The Conscious Parent

 
"CALLING ALL PARENTS! I just read the most profound book on parenting I''ve ever encountered— The Conscious Parent. . . Parents . . . you will be wowed and awed by her."  —Oprah Winfrey
 
"Shefali Tsabary''s invaluable book shows how the challenges of parenting can become a great opportunity for spiritual awakening. Becoming a fully conscious parent is the greatest gift you can give to your child."  —Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now and A New Earth
 
"In this book, Dr. Shefali Tsabary describes the importance of compassion in simple, secular terms, discussing how we can learn to develop it from our relationship with our children."  —His Holiness the Dalai Lama
 
" The Conscious Parent is a spiritual vision of how to care for a child''s body and soul. This book is practical and full of love and hope for both parents and children."  —Michael Gurian, author of The Wonder of Boys and The Wonder of Girls

About the Author

Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D., received her doctorate in clinical psychology from Columbia University. Specializing in the integration of Western psychology and Eastern philosophy, Dr. Shefali brings together the best of both worlds for her clients. She is an expert in family dynamics and personal development and runs a private practice in New York City. Dr. Shefali has written three books, including the award-winning  New York Times bestselling book  The Conscious Parent. Dr. Shefali is also a keynote speaker who has presented at TEDx, Kellogg Business School, the Dalai Lama Center for Peace and Education, and other conferences and workshops around the world. She''s been featured on Oprah Winfrey''s  SuperSoul Sunday and  Oprah''s Lifeclass.

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4.7 out of 54.7 out of 5
990 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

BHubbs
3.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Readers, Be Discerning
Reviewed in the United States on August 13, 2019
Ms. Tsabary champions herself as a game changer and encourages us to turn standard child care practices upside down. She sees herself as a guru of "a more authentic enlightened way of parenting." While I agree, with really listening to our children, not labeling them, or... See more
Ms. Tsabary champions herself as a game changer and encourages us to turn standard child care practices upside down. She sees herself as a guru of "a more authentic enlightened way of parenting." While I agree, with really listening to our children, not labeling them, or pressuring them to achievement standards that may not be their own, but are driven by parents, who are lacking from their upbringing, I also have concerns regarding her book. Ms. Tsabary believes that it falls on our children to grow their parents. What a heavy burden to put on our children! She feels Children are perfect the way they are, while parents need to get over their own programming. She sees parents as mirroring in our children, what we come from ourselves. I believe this is largely true. Ms. Tsabary believes children are equal to parents, which I agree, in terms of value, but disagree, in terms of our experience and responsibility. Her ideas are not completely new, but are commensurate with the classic theme of the control/versus freedom balance that best ensures raising thriving children. She gives some spot on advice, but she is largely basing her observations on children of a specific group of parents. There is an elitism that runs through the book. To get an accurate understanding of a child, one must see them in their larger habitat of classroom, household with siblings, and in their neighborhoods, not just in a clinical setting. At times I found the blaming of parents, teachers and those in the medical field, tiresome. And, that her observations and solutions were self congratulating. There are many factors that come into play regarding raising thriving children. She is taking a lot more on, than she is able to justify with evidence of outcome. There are perhaps too many personal chatty feelings, and too many anecdotal observations, without enough verifiable information.
87 people found this helpful
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DahliaRose
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Best parenting book I''ve read
Reviewed in the United States on June 30, 2016
Best parenting book I''ve read. And I''ve read a lot of them. Over the past few years, I saw my once sweet, caring son turn into a teenaged monster. He''s 16 now and I can count on one hand the number of stress free days we''ve had over the past year. I almost took out a... See more
Best parenting book I''ve read. And I''ve read a lot of them. Over the past few years, I saw my once sweet, caring son turn into a teenaged monster. He''s 16 now and I can count on one hand the number of stress free days we''ve had over the past year. I almost took out a 2nd mortgage on my house in order to afford to send him to a rehab program. Thank god I just spent $18 on a book instead. Now brace yourself for what I''m about to say, because it''s not popular and it took me a minute to get on board with, too: more than likely, your kids problems are because of you. Yeah, I know. I''ve read so many books that talk about how to change your child''s behavior. But guess what? I''m sure you''ve already tried to change them and it doesn''t work, or perhaps gets you even more difficult behaviors. This book tells you how to change YOU. Indeed, it is the only way to help your child and ultimately help you. The past two weeks I have seen a remarkable change in my child, and it almost 100% came from me changing my behavior first. Dr. Tsabary explains this concept without passing lots of blame or shame (this is the opposite of a helpful approach, by the way), but helps you reconcile your own past hurts and issues, often from childhood and the way you were parented. So there, blame your parents for your child''s behavior. ha. No really, there is no need for blame. Just for acceptance of yourself and your child right here, right now. And a willingness to admit that you are part of the problem, but even more that you can be the solution! Our kids need us to change for them. My favorite quote so far: "In simple, everyday ways, as well as more profound ones, our children are constantly saying to us, "Wake up, look at yourself, transform yourself. Do this for YOU, so that I may be free of what burdens you."" Beautiful. <3
306 people found this helpful
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mariana
1.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Please don''t!!!!!!!!!
Reviewed in the United States on January 23, 2019
I purchased this book because it was recommended by a few people I respect.......what a fantastic mistake!!!! With each page I go angrier and angrier...are you kidding meee?????? There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong about any child or teen behaviour....it is 100% on the... See more
I purchased this book because it was recommended by a few people I respect.......what a fantastic mistake!!!! With each page I go angrier and angrier...are you kidding meee?????? There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong about any child or teen behaviour....it is 100% on the parents????? What kind of kids are we going to raise????? Other than that I really dislike how she paint all her clients as useless self absorbed ignorant parents and how she always enlightens them on how wonderfully she is reaising her own child.....talk about pressure on that child to be perfectly balanced when she grows up. Anyway, I do not agree with being a tiger mom and reading "How to raise a champion" but this is the complete opposite and is also not good.
33 people found this helpful
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Brittany P
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
A must-read for parents who want to know better and do better
Reviewed in the United States on August 18, 2018
I have read a number of parenting books but holy cow none of them have resonated with my core as much as this book has. Growing up, I constantly battled my desire to just be myself. I don’t want to be a contributor to my children ever feeling that way. This book explains... See more
I have read a number of parenting books but holy cow none of them have resonated with my core as much as this book has. Growing up, I constantly battled my desire to just be myself. I don’t want to be a contributor to my children ever feeling that way. This book explains why it’s so important to let our children be their authentic selves, and in turn, allow us as parents to be our authentic selves. I am reading this book incredibly slowly, re-reading almost every section to let it all sink in. If you are struggling with the idea of raising your child according to society’s expectations, this book is perfect for you.
25 people found this helpful
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Amy-Noelle
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Absolute Best and Most Important Parenting Book There Is--You Will Be Transformed!
Reviewed in the United States on June 3, 2016
As a relationship therapist and parent, I can say that this is the absolute best and most important parenting book there is. Dr. Shefali boldly accomplishes what no other parenting book has been able to fully achieve. She addresses the many challenges that parents... See more
As a relationship therapist and parent, I can say that this is the absolute best and most important parenting book there is. Dr. Shefali boldly accomplishes what no other parenting book has been able to fully achieve. She addresses the many challenges that parents experience with their children--at the causal level. She gets to the root of problems. The author shows us that our children are never triggering us. Conversely, what is getting triggered are our past wounds. That in every moment there is always a choice to react or respond. When we move into reactivity, this is about our own hurt and fear. Dr. Shefali masterfully helps us see that our children are here to show us where we need to grow. She says children are our "awakeners." In the excerpt below, the author explains the parent-child dynamic:

"Our children are particularly effective mirrors, because although we can divorce our spouse and abandon our friends, our children are here to stay. It''s in our relationship with them more than any other that we are challenged to examine those aspects of ourselves we would ordinarily deny or avoid. When we are able to look into the mirror they provide us with and address our issues, we not only clear the fog form our own vision, but also begin to see our children for who they truly are. In this way, we become a reflection of their authentic self."

We are asked to consider questions like, "`Is my child in some way reflecting the way I tend to operate?''" With numerous examples, we are shown that the cost of addressing behavioral problems at the effect level is increased negative behavior. Through the author''s profound insights and plethora of real-life examples, it becomes clear that our own fear, which stems from past conditionings, paralyzes us by keeping us from knowing how to connect with our children. That real change can only happen when we have heightened awareness or become conscious of our own behavioral patterns. This means noticing our thoughts and feelings and exploring our belief systems. When reading this book, you feel like the author takes you on an intimate journey of awakenings and opens your heart to a whole new way of seeing your essential role as a parent. The authors ideas are truly revolutionary and liberating. You are able to see and experience a real path to having stronger, deeper connections in all your relationships.

In The Awakened Family, the author explains that we need to give up our expectations of how we would like things to be and to accept whatever enters the present moment. In the following passage, the author helps us to understand what acceptance means:

"Acceptance of the present moment doesn''t mean you are passive or resigned to things. It simply means that the sting of the emotional charge is taken out of the situation. Sure, you can correct your child and even assertively create boundaries if these are needed, but the entire exchange is executed without adding in the emotional charge of fear, panic, shame, or guilt."

We are able to see that only when we learn how to "be" can we know what doing action, if any, is needed.

Dr. Shefali so eloquently explains our responsibility as parents when she says, "It''s our sacred responsibility as parents to remember that within every child is a deep desire to be seen, heard, and understood. Indeed, a child''s deepest yearning is to know the answer to the question, "`Am I good, am I okay, am I worthy?''" When we are willing to open our heart to the author''s message, we can only experience its resounding truth.

Conscious parenting has personally transformed me and the way I parent my son. This is not a quick-fix philosophy; it is a way of living, finding more peace and joy in your life.

Every parent, therapist, parenting coach, and educator should read this book and keep it close by for reference. With the brilliant insights that Dr. Shefali provides in her latest book, we can all become more awakened and join a growing consciousness that has the power to heal our world.
126 people found this helpful
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Wolleybird
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Lean In And Learn
Reviewed in the United States on February 20, 2018
This spoke to my soul and mind. It addresses a desperatiom I’ve felt since my daughter grew out of toddlerhood. I’ve perceived a duality in myself that the author ascribed to the “ego” taking over. One side longing for connection with my child and the other seeking control.... See more
This spoke to my soul and mind. It addresses a desperatiom I’ve felt since my daughter grew out of toddlerhood. I’ve perceived a duality in myself that the author ascribed to the “ego” taking over. One side longing for connection with my child and the other seeking control. It’s the first time anyone has been able to put that struggle into words. It was easier to enjoy authentic connection when my daughter was still a baby; but growing up makes things personal and emotional really fast. Where I once felt confident and just what my daughter needed, I turned paralyzed with fear because of my emotional immaturity.

This book invites you to lean into those weaknesses and insecurities and abandon the shame you carry from imperfection. It is incredibly inspiring to view yourself as you truly are, and to see your child as a catalyst for the change you desire most.
42 people found this helpful
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Sinini
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Shefali Tsabary is a wonderful teacher when it comes to parenting
Reviewed in the United States on August 13, 2020
I love Tsabary''s books and the way she explains parenting. In this books she explain how our children can help us bring out the best in us. Instead of nagging our children for their misbehavior, she teaches to see our children as mirrors of ourselves and to reflect, to see... See more
I love Tsabary''s books and the way she explains parenting. In this books she explain how our children can help us bring out the best in us. Instead of nagging our children for their misbehavior, she teaches to see our children as mirrors of ourselves and to reflect, to see what we have to change about ourselves instead of trying to change our children. This book teaches us to see our children as they really are instead of changing them into something that society wants them to be. I absolutely adore Shefali Tsabary and would recommend this book to anyone who has kids or is planning to have kids, or even teachers and daycare workers. This is a an absolute must read! Make sure to have a highlighter and sticky notes ready, because this book is full of note-worthy material!!
5 people found this helpful
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Dave Barth
2.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Useful advice buried under self-help hoohah
Reviewed in the United States on March 21, 2021
This book is one of a bunch of mindful parenting books that basically suggest being more thoughtful about goals for managing your kid''s behavior and to avoid being reactive in your behavior. This one has a self-help angle that says you really need to inspect your own... See more
This book is one of a bunch of mindful parenting books that basically suggest being more thoughtful about goals for managing your kid''s behavior and to avoid being reactive in your behavior. This one has a self-help angle that says you really need to inspect your own triggers in order to understand why you react the way you do. By understanding and loving yourself, you will better understand and love your kid -- If that statement made your eyes roll, this book isn''t for you. It wasn''t for me either.

I tapped out at page 253 due to over-active eye rolling. Two stars because the underlying mindful parenting advice is sound (but there are much better books for that) and it isn''t crazy repetitive like many parenting books. But I don''t really need to inspect my own relationship with my parents to understand why I want to yell at my kid for talking to me rudely, or to understand why yelling at my kid might not achieve the outcome I desire. I find the little poems at the end of the chapter to be childish and distracting. And I''m mildly offended that the editor let the author include such cliched advice that you can only truly love others when you love yourself.
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Top reviews from other countries

Greg
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Dynamite! Not for the light hearted! For Changemakers, Hero''s & Heroines!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 6, 2018
Amazing book, very deep, not for the light hearted. Will most likely help you understand your own and child''s behaviour... It is hard work / intense / condensed / compact so I have bought this on Audio CD too and listen to it in my car. Usually i listen to each CD twice....See more
Amazing book, very deep, not for the light hearted. Will most likely help you understand your own and child''s behaviour... It is hard work / intense / condensed / compact so I have bought this on Audio CD too and listen to it in my car. Usually i listen to each CD twice. This book alone has more highlights, bookmarks than any other book i have (and i have bucket loads). Nearly every page has some amazing insights that resonate and ring true with me. I have quite a few books about Mindfulness / Conscious Parenting / Mindful Parenting but this one goes deeper into our inner workings of our mind, triggers, emotions, fears etc. Now just waiting for this to be cheaper on kindle so i can pick that up too...! :-) "If you want world peace, go home and love your family!" - Mother Teresa
18 people found this helpful
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woowoo
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
The advice in this book is working wonders in our family every single day!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 10, 2019
Got this after reading the conscious parent book. I wasn''t going to get it as I thought she had already covered so much in the other book but Im so glad I did. I''m only half way through because I have to read each page so slowly to take in all the info it''s fascinating and...See more
Got this after reading the conscious parent book. I wasn''t going to get it as I thought she had already covered so much in the other book but Im so glad I did. I''m only half way through because I have to read each page so slowly to take in all the info it''s fascinating and very easy to implement into my family life and my boys respond so well to this parenting. This book is v helpful as it gives lots of examples from Shefalis own experiences working with clients so it goes into a much more practical level of how a conscious parent responds to their children- and of course it begins with the parent, not the child!
12 people found this helpful
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Ratty
4.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
awakened family
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 13, 2018
Very interesting book. I saw this book on Oprah and got it because this lady speaks so well. I am happy to have the book and am enjoying reading it. Hopefully it will make a difference as to how I take care of my grandchildren.
4 people found this helpful
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Fiona
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
The best book I have ever read
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 2, 2017
Every parent needs to read this book. I am literally obsessed with Dr Shefalis work. I could talk all day about how amazing this book is but I just urge you to buy it and found out for yourself.
7 people found this helpful
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Claire hershman
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Straight taking excellent and clear guidance
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 18, 2018
Very occasionally a book comes out that is so spot on that I feel Like giving it to everyone I know whether they are parents or not. Unbelievably straightforward clear and could be a family saver
3 people found this helpful
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